"Dancing with the Stars" Chris answers
"Tonight, each couple has to do a cha cha, a tango and a Paso Doble" I said.
"What is a .." Jeremy starts to ask before Chris interrupts him.
"Please don't ask him what a Paso Doble is, just don't" Chris says looking directly at me.
"A Paso Doble is a twostep that is meant to be a dramatic dance that celebrates the sound, drama and movement of a matador facing a bull in a bullring" I said smiling looking directly at Chris.
"Famous bullfighters in Spain and Portugal have had..." I get interrupted by the familiar green light and voice.
Paramedic 4, Engine 3 respond 123 Highland Drive for a party with Chest Pains
"Paramedic 4 just dropped someone at the hospital and they will be 10-15 minutes out" Chris says picking up a portable radio off the table in front of him.
TV is turned off and everyone is heading downstairs to get on the Engine grabbing portable radios as they step out in the bay. I don't recognize the address as a place we have been to recently. This area is a quiet working-class area with houses and families that have been established in the area for a while.
We are sitting in the Engine and Chris has completed his walk around and is climbing in the driver's seat. Everyone has their headsets on now.
"Bring everything inside, O2 kit, Jump kit, Defibrillator and everyone is gloved up" I said.
"Stand by" I am queuing up the microphone to tell them we are on our way.
Engine 3 in route, status 4
Chest pains can be a wide variety of things, but I always assume the worse and expect the best. I assume we will have someone who is having a cardiac event. We will have to get shirt off, get them on oxygen, a base line of vital signs, two large bore IV's, and put a 12 lead on them so paramedics can look at the rhythm the patient is experiencing. We will have to deal with anyone else in the house and any animals. We need to look for the myriad of other things that mimic cardiac events and try to rule those in or out. If the patient is down and not responding and CPR is needed, that is another whole list of things to consider.
"Jeremy you have primary care and well help you"
"We are gonna need O2, Two large bore IV's, and 12 lead" I remind him and I know he is already ahead of me on this.
We pull up to a one-story house right on the lake. There is a plywood cutout of a rabbit in the front yard and in black paint the words "Hunny Bunny Farms" are carefully painted on the wood.
Engine 3 arrival this is Highland Command, we'll be investigating.
Mark our Battalion Chief has arrived in his command suburban, and I walk over to him.
"Chief, if you take command, I can give these guys a hand" I tell him, and he nods in approval. I walk up to the screen door and say "Fire Department."
There is a grey-haired lanky man with both hands flat on the table. He looks like he is having trouble breathing and he is sobbing. He looks up at us and is trying to say something, but we cannot make it out.
Chris, Jeremy, and Gary are already working with a precision that still amazes me. They are each doing what needs doing without talking to each other. Jeremy is talking to the patient who is still trying to say something and putting a non-rebreather oxygen mask on him while he is working to calm him down. Chris has the IV bag out and is working to put two large bore IVs in both arms. Gary is already getting baseline vital signs on the patient.
I have pulled the defibrillator out and start attaching the patches to the patient when Paramedic 4 arrives. An ambulance has a paramedic and an EMT on board. The paramedic starts taking turnover from Jeremy and the EMT takes the patches from me and completes the 12 leads. The patient keeps pointing down the hallway while the team is working to stabilize him.
"Mike check the back rooms where he keeps pointing" Chief Marks says.
I can't imagine anyone left in the house would have not come out with all of the noise and activity in the living room, but I say "Fire Department" every time I push open a door and look inside a room. All of the rooms are clean and well kept. There is a light on in the backroom that I assume was the patients.
"Fire Department" I say, and I hear my voice trail off.
The light bedspread, pillowcases, and walls really highlight the blood that seems to be everywhere in the room. Your mind needs a minute to catch up and process what it is that you are seeing and put a name on it. Her head is towards me, and I take a minute to catch my breath. She is around 12 years old, and she is in what looks like a nice dress. She is laying on top of the bed and around her on the bed and the floor are roses. There is a big envelope with a name on it in the midst of those flowers.
There are times in your career that you see extensive, catastrophic injuries that become impossible to describe or articulate. Today, many years later, I would not (could not) describe this scene to you but in my head, there is a snapshot of it. A snapshot with all the detail and clarity of that day. It is a snapshot that I have been unable to throw out or file away correctly. I have not gained any insight or perspective from seeing things like this. Instead, they remind me that there is another bit of life beyond the beautiful life I live - one that is much darker and rawer. It has the effect of taking away some of the innocence I have about people. You don't really believe things like this happen until you are standing in front of it.
Above her head there are shelves lined with trophies with people sitting on horses. There are big red and blue ribbons hung underneath the trophies with push pins. There are smiling pictures with other you girls in cowboy hats and jeans. A picture of a young girl with her arms wrapped around a horse's neck. I see a picture of her standing in front of our gray-haired patient in the living room. His hands are on both of her shoulders, and both are smiling widely at the camera.
I walk back into the living room and walk up to the Battalion Chief. The patient is being loaded up and taken out to the ambulance and there are a couple of Sheriff Officers standing with the Battalion Chief while the crew is cleaning up from working with the patient.
"Chief we have what looks like a suicide in the backroom" I tell him.
"Did you check her, do we need another ambulance?" he asks looking over his shoulder and motioning the Sheriff's Officers over.
"I did not walk in the room to check her, you'll see why when you see her" I tell him.
I let them walk into the backroom and I am standing in the hallway not looking in. Both of the Officers are now talking into their radios and are getting more resources to the address to process the scene in the back room.
I get my crew together and tell them it looks like a kid committed suicide and that they will release us soon. The scene will have to be processed and after a short conversation with a Detective who wants me to retrace my steps, we are cleared to go.
No one will ask how she did or what she looked like. This is a close crew, and everyone has a snapshot or two in their heads and no one wants to hear about another one. The next morning over coffee, I will tell Chris in more detail that I have told anyone. He does not ask many questions, just listens until I am done. Chris has seen many of the things I have and understands the exercise of saying it out loud to take the edges off what you have seen.
I keep learning new rules that change my hard and fast rules. I still try to plan for the worst case and far too often use Hunny Bunny call as the worst case. That is something that you simply cannot do. As a firefighter I have still expect the best but there is a voice from the Hunny Bunny call that nudges me and reminds me that things can get way worse. As the years pass and the edges soften on all of this, that voice gets quieter but on a tough day, I still hear it very clearly.
In the back of my Jeep, I carry two boxes with water, food, extra clothes, tools, first aid kit, extra shoes/socks, cold weather gear, ax, shovel, toilet paper, 3 cans of beer, and some Irish Whiskey. I live in a Metro area and cannot drive more than 1 mile before I pass gas stations, hardware and grocery stores. But still....
Epilogue
My daughter's room is painted purple (her favorite color). There are smiling pictures of soccer teams. A picture of her and I at a girl scout Father/Daughter dance. There are red and blue ribbons with stick pins in the wall. Pictures of her and her brother and a spot on the carpet where she knocked over a can of paint while her room was being painted.
My plans are to change it to an office. I will keep the walls purple and stop trying to clean that paint spot.
No comments:
Post a Comment